I think i shall take a break...

Alright...everyone has vanished from blogger...
And im thinking of vanishing too...

So...if anyone is thinking of coming back for reals...write me a comment, and ill come back...

Ta Ta

You dont need to be drunk to be happy

Well...I havent posted in what seems a long time, but really its only been about a week...how scary...
Time is not passing soon enough...

Its Thanksgiving this Thursday, and I wish it was over.
Ugh...what is thanksgiving?
Well duh..its about Indians and white people..and the mayflower...
Personally I could care less...

What is Thanksgiving nowadays?
People getting togeather to eat and eat and eat...
Ugh...
This year, its going to be a party with some neighbors that have lived by us forever, and my aunt and grandfather...

Im going to be the only fifteen year old there...
I could hang out with the 'guys' who are in their twenties, and my neighbors sons...
They are in collage and work full time jobs...
They sit there and...eat...and play video games....ugh
Or i could hang out with the little kids, my neighbor girl and cousin, who are eight, and twelve...
Though its funny, cause the eight year old acts like shes twenty and the twelve year old acts like shes eight...sigh

Guess I'll just sit in my room...

Ooh!!!
But the good news is I got a solo, in the ballet production!
Im the only one in my age group with a solo, all the other soloists are older...

We are doing Beauty and the Beast,
all the solo parts are filled up with the older girls...
Im the footstool dog thingy...hahahaha
Ah well...its a small part, but none the less, its mine, and Im extremely proud of it..
Plus im also in all the chorus's dances...

Where is Superman when you need him?

The world is a horrible place.

You have to look at the world and dig and dig through all the nastiness until you get to the good.
I've been reading the newspaper, and its horrible depressing.

I found myself glancing at it, and being like, "Mhmm, someone was killed, someone saved animals, and someone found their 8 year old daughter lying dead and bloody in a ditch...thats nice."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! No its not....
Some lady just got kidnapped, in a house not far from where the mangled little girl was found.
No one found that little girl until three years later or something. I think she was taken when she was five....anyway...

Why do I read it? Dont ask me...
Why cant i stop? I have no idea..but everyday it shows up on our driveway, and I waltz merrily over to pick it up and to read about who was killed, hurt, or arrested...

Lovely....

Trick or treat?

Ooh...Tomorrow is Halloween, and I honestly cant wait!
I love seeing the little kids dressed up in their cute costumes and the older kids in their scary costumes. I believe this is one holiday where, no matter what age, every ones creativity comes out. Even if they have fake blood dripping down their face, or real blood for that matter, from tripping off the curb, or being tripped...haha

People in my neighborhood take the 'trick' part of 'trick or treat' a bit to seriously...
Peoples house gets spray painted, or their cars get stolen. Smoke bombs, stink bombs...you name it, they have done it all before. We have a small stratch of woods near our house and last year some gang og older guys sat in there, and when the little kids ran through threr, they would grab them and pull them into the forest.

Haha, but then after halloween is when the neighbors all come together to scrub paint off of someone garage door, or clean rotten eggs off a car...isnt it lovely...

This is the first time in about five years i will be trick or treating around MY neighborhood....surprise surprise...
We are always invited to other peoples houses...

We are having one family over, and there son, who is a friend of mine, is trying to get me to invite this other guy over who likes me.
No offense but ever since the kid told me he liked me, and i told him i didnt feel the same way about him, he feels he can be rather open about it...sigh
Huge hugs, sitting next to me, saying he loves me over the phone....inviting me over all the time.(To which i have always had a reason not to be able to come)
He's gotten really really annoying...

Quite happy

Well...it took me two hours, but i rearranged my whole bedroom..again..
The book shelf was a pain...it almost fell on my three times, and i got stuck, cause i was scooting it back, and then i was between it and the wall, and realized i was stuck...haha
I looked at the florr where i had put all the stuff that goes on the bookshelf, and realized it was all junk..but im to lazy to get rid of any of it, and it looks good randemly standing on there..so its fine..

I dropped so many tacks, its a wonder i dont feel like a pin cushion yet...
I was also holding a handful of tacks, and i shut my hand a little to qucikly...ouch..
But it felt weirdly different..not good..not bad

(randem)
Fall is so pretty, i glanced out my window and the leaves are falling, whirling, prancing, dancing across the yard...My pear tree is turning orange and gold and red...yay
The apple, plum, and cherry trees are still a dark green.. :(
But those are my mums, my tree is pretty.. :)

Anyway..yes..um
I was listening to a cd i found in the car, and one of the songs starts with a wolf howling and barking. My cats head snapped up, and he got out of my bedroom so fast it was hilarious.

But anyway..im quite happy..

Ping Pong...Ding-a-ling...Pitter Patter down the street...

Well..im sick again..blah

But i spent most of my evening making cookies.. :)
Yum!
If there is one thing i can cook..its desserts...haha
Even if they do look a bit different, and..flat....haha
They are VERY good...

I have a ton of school tomorrow, 3 papers and math, grammer, and latin...ugh
I shouldnt have put off the papers...
Stupid Stupid Stupid Rain!!!

My dad made a fire in the fireplace...yay
It was nice and cozy.
Then he left and i tried to make another one, after that one died...
It was....smoky...and not that much of a sucess...
Lets just say..ash everywhere..and lots of smoke...
Oopsy...

I went to an exercise class with my mum and ripped something in my shoulder...
Ouch...
I could hardly move my arm...but i was in front, and i HAD to keep moving...
Utter pain...I just laughed and kept going...
I even skipped ballet, cause i was so dead...
Then, since i didnt go to ballet, mum made me help her clean the refrigerator..sigh

I think I may clean and reorganize my room again...
Ah! NO..i must do my schoolwork FIRST...sigh
Homeschooling is SO hard..ugh
Focus Focus Focus....
Blah...

Maybe i will go to the library again... :)

Ahh!
Tonight i sat on my bed, and threw myself backward, and went crashing down onto my cat...
Poor baby...so i pet him..and he started purring.. :)
I love that cat...i can squash him, but as long as im next to him, hes happy..
The other night i was sleeping, and he came up, and laid right next to my face, and he draped his paw around my head like a hug, and fell asleep..it was SO cute...

Oh dear..i should go make more cookies...goodnight!!

Find one song, one last refrain...one song to leave behind..

Sitting at the library, listening to Sweeney Todd, and looking out at the pond.
I'm warm and dry, and the rain is falling on the pond in soft rings.
The ducks and geese are floating along delicately...its really pretty.

It would be perfect if i didnt have to do school, and if i had eaten lunch before coming...

Thunder is rumbling, and i just saw the strangest thing...
There was a huge white dog standing in the back feild, but he was so large, i could see him perfectly.
He's gone now, maybe i was just seeing things, but it sort of worked with the picture.

I had the most horrible dream this morning about my dad, and i woke up so scared.
Then ten minutes later my dad showed up, and i was telling myself, "Calm face, no emotion."
HAHA...
It was soo scary..

I was sitting at the computer, and it was around two in the morning, and suddenly a car pulled up, and i freaked out.
I shut down the computer and ran to my room, and pretended to be doing school, and then the door rang and it turned out to be my dad, but i was still scared, and then i woke up..

I shouldnt be scared..but it was weird..
I didnt have any reason to be scared...

Whoop-di-do

Nothing really is happening...

I finally cleaned me room, cause it been a mess, while they put in our new windows...sigh
Everything was shoved against one wall...and now it is amazingly clean, and reorganized...yay

I shall post when i have more interesting news...

also the questions arises...WHERE IS CHAOS???
Im quite mad at him, cause he hasnt been on in ages...
Is he dead?

Nasty little buggers

Ugh..so i got my braces...
They are quite strange..
Im not sure i like them.

Actually when the lady gave me the mirror i glanced and quickly put the mirror down.
Now that im home..im trying to get used to them, cause they will be living with me for the next two years or so.

They put the dentist chair so far back, i could almost see the floor...haha
I was surprised at myself, because i didnt fall asleep.
Normally at seven thirty in the morning, i would be out in a second.

I had something weird happen...
I was sitting there with my eyes closed, and when suddenly the blackness in front of me started swirling around in circles.
There were little dots are all were in perfect sequence, and spinning around.
It was really pretty.

I thought maybe i was falling asleep, but i opened my eyes, and i was fine.
Then i shut them, and it was all dark, and then they appeared and started twirling.
Haha..perhaps i have gone 100% insane now..
But it was cool.

My dad keeps staring at me, like im an alien, or not his daughter anymore...
Haha..i dont look THAT different..
Do I?

Ooh, but i havent bled today yet!
That is good, cause yesturday my toe was bleeding after i hit it with a door...
And then one of my cats climbed up my leg, and onto my shoulder.
Though after i put him down, i noticed blood leaking out of my shoulder...sigh
But hey..im trying..
Im just not good at not bleeding..

Um..is she still breathing?

Alright..ignore the tite, there are more interesting things at hand..

First off, I bought another pair of heels!!!
The heels are about two and half inches high..and really comfy..
And they were ten dollors..60% off...
Begging on their knees to be bought..
(except that shoes dont have knees)
But you never know...
So i did them a favor, and i was kind enough to buy them.
Of course when i got home, my mum had a fit, and was like, "TO MANY SHOES!!!!"
Hehe, but there is no way i can return them..sorry

I went to a friends house yesturday, and spent the night..
It was very fun...

I was walking along, and walked right into some randem board, it hit my right in the nose and eyes. Its my own fault, i walked into it...
But what was funny, was that i did it again, half an hour later...hahahaha

But we had lots of fun...she lives in the county, and it was so nice to just get away from life..you know?

But it was fun, i almost broke my teeth by doing a cartwheel, and my heavy glass heart necklace hit my in the mouth. My finger got crushed underneath my friends foot, and i jumped off a truck, and fell backwards onto the ground. I also got pushed out the back door by my friends older brother, and he slammed the door behind me.
Just cause we were bothering him, by being in the same house.

But all in all, very fun..hehe
Oh gee, ive said it was fun about five times, but you know..thats how fun it was...
I need another adjective...

They dropped me off at church, and i saw my mum, and she was like, "Hi, your going home with that other family, after church. I have to get home. Bye."
Ouch...
But so i went, and i got home, and got lectured about the shoes, then she dashed off to lunch and to see a movies with some friends.
Then she got home around five, and i was gone on a walk.
Then i was in my room all night, and she came in, and lectured me that i need to spend more time with her.
Oh well...

All i can do is try..

Hurray for Advil and every other pain killer out there!!!

Im practically living on Advil right now, since i got these bands in my teeth.
They are keeping me teeth apart so that not tomorrow, but the next friday they can put metal bands were the rubber is, and put the braces on...ugh
If my teeth hurt this bad right now, i can just imagine what the braces will feel like...(shudder)

So my diet consists of Advil, tea, and noodles...
I tried a sandwich this morning, before the Advil kicked in..not a good idea..
So i practically swallowed the rest the whole, and then resorted back to something softer...

Blah..my room is a mess...
It probubly looks normal to everyone else..but i cant stand it.
It looks a bit to lived in for my taste.
I rather it be spotlessly clean...
Speaking of which..i should dust....

Im staring at a picture of a 'skull and cross bones' that i have on my wall..
Some little boy gave it to me...hahaha
Have you ever noticed that the skull has perfect teeth...
Maybe its just that way in this one picture, but seriously...
I dont think pirate flags would have their skulls with perfect teeth...
Perhaps I have stopped making sense...
Perhaps i was never making sense in the first place...

Ah well...i get brownie points for trying..

This rain makes me happy..

Im sick today, dizzy, with a headache...ugh
But i still had to go help teach two classes of ballet, and then do my own class...

But it was raing abit today which made me feel better..
I have to go buy more tea..we had suddenly 'mysteriously' run out...
hehe..oopsy

I havent bled today..thats a good thing..
Its quite an achievement...
Im very proud.

But going on pointe in ballet very nearly killed me.
I was about to die..it hurt really really bad.
But pain isnt so bad...
And neither is blood.
It means your still alive.

I remember going to the doctors office, with strange bumps all over my hands, and the doctors had to cut one off to examine, cause they had no idea what it was.
So they cut one off, and were stitching me back together, when my mother started looking very very uncomfortable.
The doctor, noticing it, gave a nervous laugh, and said,
"Um..blood is good, it means she is still alive...uh..hehe...oh dear."

Thats not something i like to hear doctors say...
Apparently blood was sqirting out of my hand, in a desprete attempt to free itself...
My blood doesnt like me...its constantly escaping.
Today i scratched my head, and it started bleeding...

sigh

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Time..where does it all go?
I really hate clocks..i have a feeling that they sit there and eat time...
They eat it so fast, you hardly ever feel it going by...
During the sumer, or when your bored, the clock is full, and time drags on...
Sigh..

I have bought a pair of red shoes that are four inches tall..
Everyone looks at me, and gives a very approving nod, saying, "You finally grew!"
And then they look at my feet, and shuffle away quicky....embarresed..hahaha
I now look like the average fifteen year old, average height at least...

Personality will never be average, normal, or even human..hahaha
My personality is 100% panda, and if that doesnt make sense, its best not to ask, cause its a long story and i dont have enough time to tell it..
But if your still interested, i will tell you in about fifty years or so, when i have time to actually think, and have my wits about me...

School is driving me crazy...but i sorta love it..
Mum is going to take me to get my permit next week...im very scared..well excited and scared..
Umm..ballet keeps me sane, as sane as i will ever be, and so does Patrick, Kota, and Chaos...
Hahaha..

Its Monday, so there is still a chance that this might be a good week...
Hope you guys have a wonderful week also..
And I'll post when i think of more to say...haha

Loves to all..

Whats the use?

So...i havent really been posting because, whats the use?
No one reads this except Patrick, but i talk to him everyday, so its not anything new..
Stephen, Kota, and Chaos havent been around lately...
And Dan, Im guessing is busy with school, parents, and 'Tiny'...haha

So unless its absolutly necessary..im not sure I'll post very much..

Dying...

Please do not read this post, it is just me complaining at myself..

I admit it now, I'm lonely..
I sit in the house for hours on end, and do school..
I know the rest of you are doing school to, but at least there are other humans around you..
My cat just sleeps all day..
If I ever had any time i would take walks..but i never do..
All the time i do have, i spend on the computer..haha
But I'm not complaining about THAT...

Ballet has started, and every class has at least those two 4 year olds, who huff, roll their eyes, and act like they cant beleive they are wasteing their time doing some stupid class their mum put them in..
I'm all for kicking them out.. :)
But I love all the rest..and yes i do have a bad habit of picking favorites...

Haha, i know this may sounds weird, but im going to complain about complaining..
I hate complaining...though i love it when others complain to me..
I dont know why..I like to hear other peoples problems...
But i know not everyone is like that..and i have to be careful..
I love to complain, and i shouldnt do it..
Thats why i asked you guys not to read this post...haha

Im very........frustrated....
momentarily....
Im just going to go do school..sigh
And die...

haha, I know im insane, but you know how i told you guys i was so busy, well i want more..
I want to get another cat or two, and i want a ferret or a chin chilla..

I might be taking yet another class, besides my ballet, math, and latin classes.
Im hoping to take up theater.
Which would be really fun!
I want to take it to get better, everyone says im a born actress, but thats not why im taking it.
Im taking it for confidence.
I have a fear of performing in front of people, its weird i know.
When i perform ballet, the lights are shining in my eyes and i cant see anyone distincly.
Ah well, if my dad will pay for it, then i can..

My phone..supposedly my mum said i can have her phone when she gets a new upgrade, but i dont like her phone, its breaking.
So if i do get it, im taking it in there and demanding a different phone cause that one works horrifically terrible.

Oh, and just for the sake of telling you guys, i now have this thing where i collect randem stuff and keep it. My collection has in it, a stress ball in the shape of a brain, a dog color, and small glass heart, a candle with some persons soul in it, so if i burn it i kill them...
A red starbucks mitten, a kids slinky, etc...
haha
I have them decked out all over my room plus more, it just adds charactor to my room...

Oh!!
I saw the most amazing thing at the store the other day!!
It was a red ball, medium sized. It was fluffy and squishy.
And very very soft.
If you throw it on the floor it makes a huge sound, like those fake spring noises you hear on TV.
It was amazing and almost undescribable..
My mum wouldnt buy it for me, but if i ever get ten bucks randemly..haha
I know what im buying...

Patrick, I might buy you one, a bright RED one, just so you have have something totally odd in your room... :)
Arent i kind...

Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry

Okay..I know ive been a horrible person, and have not been commenting or posting..
Im just a busy sort of person...i still love you guys...though i know ive been a bad friend...

Umm...
I went to California...that was fun...surprisingly..
I hadnt expected it to be...
I actually got to play mini golf with my dad, haha
I'm really bad at it, but its all good...

Ballet starts up again this month..and school starts tomorrow...
Fun Fun...
I have resolved to be extra good at ballet, and get a solo part...
That would be amazing...

Ill keep you posted...
Sorry once more...

For Kota

Kota, this is a sweatshirt...

haha

Maybe is Australia or where you live, they are called Sloppy Joes, but not in America...

In America that is a type of food....

Not very good food, but food none the less....

Did you miss me?

Im back!!!
I am so sorry, I know i have been gone all summer, but i did think about you guys, use my inner Chaos, and such such...
I hope you all missed me as much as i missed you..


Stephen I loved your petition, haha for my new phone...
But Its turns out that i get/ have to use my mum's old phone in September when she gets a new bright and shiny phone...ugh
Ah well, i suppose i will live...



So instead of relating my whole summer to you guys, which would take about two months, haha..I will just tell you what an amazing day I had today..

Early this morning my friend came over, and we took a walk to Fred Myers. There is this guy who is the same age as us, but he is like a brother to my friend, and hates me. He kept texting her and asking her what was going on with her family and why she wouldn't tell him. She has told me, and its long and complicated, and she didn't want alot of people to know. Finally, after saying no a gazillion times, she said she wasn't allowed to tell him, because it would ruin someones reputation. (Meaning her dad)
They guy wanted to know who, and we were so fed up with him, and there was no way we were going to tell him, so she simply answered, "My pregnant self."
Haha, we laughed so hard.

He totally believed it, and starting freaking out, and asking if she was going to get an abortion, and all these questions. She said no, she was going to have the baby, and and give it away. So anyway, it went on for awhile, that poor guy..haha but i have no guilt, he deserves it...

The story went on, until it came out that I was also pregnant, haha
The kid was seriously about to blow up. Finally, we knew we had to stop, before it went overboard, but she didnt know what to say, and asked me to call him, and explain.

Well, this is a kid who has never talked to me except to tell me to shut up, or tell me he hates me...I do have fond memories of two years that i went to school with him...Him shoving my face in the water fountain, and tripping me. Him and his best friend sitting behind me in class, and pulling my hair out one hair at a time...Ouch!
Or just stealing my stuff, and being a rotten jerk.
I do remember the last thing he said to me before he left was, "Are you scared of me?"
And heck yes, I was..so i answered.. "Maybe just a little."
He gave me this weird look, and then ind of like jumped toward me, and i screamed.
The brat...
Patrick are you proud of me?
I called him a brat not a bastard..haha
Im trying to get out of the habit of calling everyone and everything that annoys me a bastard...for those of you who are wondering..ta ha

Anyway..so I called him, and we explained, and that kid talked to me for about an hour straight, and everytime i tried to hand the phone to my friend he kept saying stuff like, "Wait..okay so...blah blah blah"
I had heard that he had changed alot, but not that much...
The creeper...
But then again...im a creeper magnet...sigh




Later my dad was out and my mum went out to a party..
My friend and I were utterly bored, so we decided to go to the store again and cash this tiny jar of pennies, nickels and dimes i had...
We had gone to the store earlier, and had only had a dollar to spend, and it was dreadful... :(
This time we walked there, and we went happily, hoping for perhaps at least another dollar or so...
We got there, and put the money into the machine and waited while it counted it up, went past three dollars up to five, we were so excited we started jumping up and down and hugging each other, haha, it was an exciting moment, we felt like we had won the lottery...
Then we sat and watched in go all the way up until it gave us the money for $9.20
Ahhhhh
It was quite amazing..



So then we shopped a bit and then decided on the one thing we had to buy and couldn't live without...you will never guess what it is, so stop trying...
I'll tell you...
Coconut Popsicles...yay
I know it sounds weird, but we enjoyed them fully...

Well that's all for now...
But its good to be back, and i missed you all...
Has anyone heard if Sean has gotten back to blogger..Stephen?
I haven't heard from in him in awhile he just keeps sending me facebook invites...
Which I don't have..
Blah...
Oh, and thank God for spellchecker... :)

Ta Ta Darling!

The Rain will come back, when the sun goes away...

The title means that I hope to be back around september...

Im painting my room red, in case you were wondering...
I dropped my phone in the water at the beach, and mum refuses to get me a new one...
and..lets see...what else?

Oh! I was on the computer talking to a really good friend of mine, when my mum came in, and i got in HUGE trouble...cause the rule is, no computer past eleven pm, and it was three in the morning...
So Im grounded of the computer til monday..oops
Also Im on house arrest, because I took a walk without telling my mum, and she had all the neighbors out looking for me, because it was dark...
Oops...

Oh dear...
Love you guys!!!

So sorry...

I know I've been gone for a horribly long time...and I've been absolutly cruel by not commenting or anything...

But as you know our internet goes on and off, and for a long time its been merly off....
I am still going to post and comment occaisionaly, but it will be a long time...
My life is hectic, and i cant post as much...

Let summer finish, and when the school starts and I have the laptop in my bedroom,
and we might be able to get internet again..I will post more often...

I am so sorry, cause I know I hate it when you guys leave...
but i must say that i hope you guys miss me, cause I miss you all, and hope to be back after school starts...

Love to you all!
~Rain

If you kill me, I cant make dinner...

I babysat the other night night, from five to eleven...
There were four kids, three girls one boy...
One was fourteen, second was twelve, the boy was eight, and the little girl was five....
They sat in front of the Tv, the whole entire time...
what a life..the poor things....
Finally the eldest girl gets up and walks to the kitchen, and then looks at me...
"Whats for dinner?"
I just looked at her, and asked her what she wanted.
"Chicken, there is some in the freezer."
Lovely...I cant make chicken...but I decided to take a shot at it...
So, I made chicken for the first time in my life, and they were all asking for more, but there wasn't any more...I felt quite proud..
Then the eldest girl, decides to walk all over me, and turns, and was like, "Do the dishes."
I just kind of looked at her, and slowly shook my head. "You do them."
Then she turned all ditzy, and was like, "I dont how"
Thats totally retarded, EVERYONE can do dishes...
So finally she goes into the kitchen, and grabs the sponge that has raw chicken all over it, and starts washing the dishes without soap.
Finally I just move her out of the way, and did them myself...
She watched as I poured soap all over a clean sponge, and was like, "Oh...thats what that stuff is for." and was truly amazed that it became all soapy...(exasperated sigh)

The next night, I had to babysit for them again, same hours.
This I forced them to have cereal for dinner, and they ate it happily enough...
This time the little boy was bored, so he built a huge fire in the backyard...
When that was finally put out, he accidentally dropped a glass jar right outside the front door.
Then accidentally spilled gasoline all the the garage floor...
Ugh...
On top of it all they were killing each other, while watching tv...
So kind of screaming at the top of their lungs for everyone to be quiet so that they could hear the tv...
Lovely...or not..

Oh well...Went to the pool last night...
My mother and my aunt were there as well as my cousin.
And of course the creeper had to be there...
Ahhhhh...
I was to scared to go in the water, cause if he did, my mother would get mad at me, for something I had almost no control over...I did say almost...
I didnt want to be yelling at the top of my lungs, for him to quit, with my mother right there...
Luckily my mothers back was turned, and he came over and was like, "Hi!" and tweaks my ponytail, and then walked away before I could say anything...
The dirty bastard...
(sorry..should not have said that, but I dont regret it..haha)
Later I was walking out the gate to go get something from my aunts apartment, and he happened to standing by the gate.
I walked over there to go, and he comes and stands right in front of me, and asks me where I'm going...
A little to close for comfort though, so I backed away, and kind of went around him, and just said, "This way." haha, he looked puzzled...it was funny...
But argh...the guy needs to either leave me alone, or I need to bring someone to kill him for me... any volunteers?

Sorry this is long, and sorry I havent been writing...
ooh, and if you havent already heard, my computer can comment again, so Im officially back now...but I'm kind of grounded off the computer, hence my getting up so early, at six in the morning, to wriite to you guys...
Have a splendid morning!
For the rest of the afternoon you guys will have to come up with your own luck...

Sort of grounded...

I'm sort of grounded and or internet is not working and has deicided to shut off...and my parents dont care...
Could my life any better at the moment...sorry bout last post...might post at coffee shop...ahhhh
Babysitting presently and the children are killing eachother...goodbye

Hmm, rather strange...

I had a rather strange occurrence happen the other day...
It was around midnight, and I went outside, because I couldn't stand my house anymore...
I was just standing there at the end of my driveway, when all the sudden my imagination starting working overtime, and all the sudden I've worked up some very creepy mental image of what could happen unless I went inside...
I kept telling myself that I had to go inside, but my body wouldn't listen, and wouldn't move...
I was almost like petrified with fear or something...
So I did the next best thing, I sat down, and tried to make myself invisible...
I sat there for about ten minutes, and then was able to move again, in which I ran inside as fast as possible...
I do not go outside at night anymore...haha

Ugh..I went swimming again today with my cousin, and the creeper from the pool was there..of course...just my luck...
He almost drowned me...I was so fed up with it, I went out and into the hot tub...he came and sat with me there...ugh
So finally I just left the water completely and sat out...I think he finally got the hint...
The pool was like ice, and the hot tub was burning, and way to hot to sit in for longer then five minutes...

But I should have known he would be there, because today was just naturally a bad day...
First of all I woke up at eight..something I never do...and had to get ready and walk to ballet...because my mother was busy and couldn't drive me...then she wasn't able to pick me up, so I had to walk all the way home...
I was completely exhausted all day, and to top it all off, my parents got into a huge argument...
I'm a peacemaker, and cant stand arguments...yelling just makes me sick...
I was walking near these peoples house and I could hear them yelling at each other, and had to go sit down, from the feeling inside..it was weird...
ANYWAY...so they start arguing and tried to drag me into it, for me to pick sides, so I just got up and left...I went for a walk for about an two hours and a half, and when I got home, they were still arguing...so I just sat at the park until they were done...

Good news is, is that my mum has been letting me have alot more freedom now, but maybe its just because shes fed up with me, and could care less, or because she has bigger things to worry about...or shes just being nice...hmmmm

I am so tired of people at the moment...I tried to run it off but I cant...I just need to go and have a day where no one expects anything of me, and people aren't constantly yelling at me..or hating me...
But then again, I need someone to talk to...kind of strange I know...but as long as I could talk to someone whose presently not mad at me...I'll be fine...
Why do people hate me...I just don't get it...
Its always one extreme or the other..they either hate me, or love me...
I know like two people who are in the middle...
I am proud to say more people love me then those who hate me...but still....
Hate is a strong word, and I'm tired of people throwing it around as if it was childish banter...
It can hurt a person...and I'm tired of being hurt...
I'm tired of smiling and pretending...and being nice...
but tomorrow it will just all go back to that...loving people and then pretending to love people...
Its just who I am...I love everyone...and for some reason tonight I'm just of the verge of tearing someone apart...
I just want..i don't know what I want...
I want to hit pause and recover from everyone and everything and start over again...
But maybe I'm just having teenage hysterics...

(sigh) I'm to tired to go on...
I just want someone to understand..yet how can they when I don't tell them?
How do you tell someone all this? Its easy to write it down...

Beach Trip! and other stuff...

Sorry this is so long...my mother is being a rather large pain in the arse, because she keeps bothering me and coming in, when I'm on blogger, or msn...thank you all, espsically Chaos and Daniel for being patient with me....

First of all, on Staurday I went to the beach...that was fun...
I went with some friends, instead of my parents, and had a major adventure...
which is way to long to iclude all the details...but in short:
~My phone got soaked and filled with sand, and is now sucessfully broken...
~ we had lunch on a huge cliff...
~We went rock climbing and cut up our hands and feet
~We almost drowned...
But are all now safe and dry in our homes...no one died.. :)
I spent the whole day talking to this guy whose eighteen, and is really sweet...
His brother was on old teacher if mine...now a friend...
And their little ten year old sister went...

Tonight...well since its one thirty in the morning, I guess I'll have to say that it was yesturday,
I went bowling...and saw a guy who looked exactly like Stephen...
And guess what his name was...
Stephen...
haha, maybe stephen has been visiting near my house without even knowing it...

Am I good at bowling?
Haha..well....
Sort of...
I did win two games out of four...and in the other two, I lost...
so its either win or lose...haha

I just got off with talking to Dan, and he should be quite proud that he managed to be the very first person I talked to this morning...hahaha
Only for me its one in the moring, and for him, its nine...he just woke up, and I havent been to bed yet...oops

What else...ummm...
Nothing really...if my mum wakes up, she will cut me into millios of peices and scatter them to the wind, without a second thought...
HAHA...I was told I was innocent, because I never swore or said God's name in vain...
Okay, so maybe I am...but still....
Aren't those things you aren't supposed to do anyway...gosh you guys...
Swearing I can handle, but just telling you now, dont say God's name in vain in any of your comments to me...or I will hypothetically beat you... sound good?

Love you all!!!!
And hope you think of me next time it rains..haha

Is the money really worth it?

Babysitting my cousin, is one of the toughest of all simple things in the world...
She spent the night last night, and woke me up, by pulling all my blankets off, and jumping on top of me...
Once I was finally half awake, and had been successfuly and literally pulled out of bed, I then had to make her breakfast and entertain her, all day long...
All she wants, is to be entertained every second of the day...ugh

It was really hot all day, so I was sluggish, and for some reason she was hyper...
We went on some erands with my mother today, and she was digging her nails into me...Ow!
And then she turns around and is the sweetest little girl, you've ever met, and you instantly love her again...
We have an artist on our hands...well you guys dont, but I do...

Anyway, as much as I weirdly like to hear people complain, I'm sure you guys do not, so I'll quit...well actually I've been told you guys dont mind...but I've run out of things to complain about at the moment...haha

I want to thank and welcome the three new people who suddenly deicided to follow my blog, and a word of advice to them, is that I am a major fan of peoples comments, so please comment, and I'll love you forever!

Horror's unleashed...and this is the worst of them all...

That's right, its the dentist...the most horrible of all the horrors...
I hate that place more then any where else...
And, as luck would have it, I went there today...

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!
Why do I hate that place so much?
Two words: Gag reflex

Yep, I have the biggest gag reflex in the world, I gag while I brush my teeth even...ahhhhhh
The people there find it fun, to poke sharp and pointy objects into your mouth, just to see how far they can push them down your throat...

And to top things off, they are more inconsiderate then hair dressers...
Hair dressers, just don't shut up...they have this problem with cutting your hair quietly...
You would think, they would WANT people to come back, but there mouths are constantly open...Good thing they keep the doors closed, or flies would fly in their mouths...

But dentists...if you get a really good one, they just do there job, and are quiet about it...while they torture you with their 'cleaning' of your teeth...
But the ones that I seem to always get, talk to you, and ask you what you did that summer, while they have at least three tubes and cleaning things, and two fingers in your mouth...

They also think its fun to see how much they can get into your mouth...
You have the tube for water, and the tube that sucks air...and the cleaning metal stick that they always manage to poke you with, the mirror...etc
I swear they might as well poke a tennis ball in our mouth to see if it will fit...
Ugh...

klutz....

Argh...I went on a ten minute walk last night, cause my mother wouldn't let me have any longer, considering it was already dark, and the street lamps had turned on...
When the street lamps turn on, I'm not allowed out of the house...
But sometimes I take out the trash at like midnight, and stay out there...
I stay outside until I scare myself with my imagination...and then run back inside, silently screaming, and rebuking myself for have thought anything like that at all....
Its never scary out there, until my imagination takes over...

ANYWAY...what I was going to say before I got so sidetracked, was that I was running down this hill, and at the bottem I turned really sharply, and totally went head over heels, sliding all over the cement....OUCH...
My hand was bleeding a little, and my knee hurt, but I wasnt to worried, the one thing I did care about, was wether or not I had ripped my pants, because they were my favorite...
After finding that I had not, I continued my walk, but I little slower this time...
Then I looked down, and saw that I had scaped quite alot of skin off the tip of my toe, and that it was bleeding quite severly...
Haha, so I went to this particularly white patch on the sidewalk, and made red dots all over it...oops

Then I kept going...
I called my mother and asked her if I could have five more minutes...
She said I could, but that I had to hurry...
So I ran up this REALLY steep hill, that took about five minutes itself,( walking it takes ten minutes....)
and then ran all the way down again...which took about three minutes, considering that it was down hill....

Then quickly went home, ran in the bathroom, and washed all the blood away...
When I no longer looked like I was dying with all the blood, I showed my mother, and she just told me to be more careful...ugh...thanks for all the sympathy mum!
Ah well, I hadnt really expected any...

So here I am limping, and about to be yelled at by my ballet teacher when she learns I cant do pointe, and then told Im not allowed to wear flip flops...
I dont wear anyother shoes BUT flipflops...
Ugh...
Actually when I fell, I wasnt wearing ANY shoes, cause when I take walks, when I'm out of sight of my house I take them off, and hold them in my hand...

I went out in the ten feet high snow in flipflops once, and found that it was a very BAD idea...haha

(sigh)
Well, thats all I have to say, at the moment, I'm leading a particuarly boring life...
But the one good thing, is that the mean guy that was texting me isn't speaking to me...well at least I THINK he's not...
I was talking to his sister the other night, and I had her tell him, that 'It is a privledge to talk to Rain, and that is a privledge you have not gained...' HAHA
He said he hoped he would never gain that privledge...YAY!!!!

Its all my fault...

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile...

I get so frustrated when you guys don't post, but then I never do...

My mother has this thing where she always walks in when I'm right in the middle of a post and then I close it down, and it forgets to save...and it gets frustrating...anyway...enough griping...



Grandfather came over tonight, from C.A...hes really sweet, I love him...

He slipped twenty dollars into my hand when I hugged him..haha

My cousin was also there, and when she saw the money she immediately had to start bragging of the stuffed dog, and the books about space that he had bought her...ugh

I dont want a dog or books, thank you...



Im griping again...aren't I?

Sorry...and sorry for saying sorry, and sor-- never mind...

I'd better stop before someone hits me...haha



Ahh! I got to assist in teaching ballet/tap today with the little kids...they are soo sweet, and I gave them all hugs at the end of class, and they are all like, 'goodbye miss rain', and laughing...haha but I would probubly laugh to...

I get to help with them every Monday and Wednesday...

I also got to help with the girls that are only like a year younger then me...and they were all good, so what was I supposed to do with them...
So I was the fearless leader, everything they had to do I did it first...
In my opinion I was more of a fearful leader...haha

The creeper guy at the pool...again...

I realized that there was one little fact about this guy, at the pool, that I forgot to tell you. When he left, he gave me his phone number so that I could text him, and tell him when I was going to be there again..haha not going to happen...



My friend took his number and started texting him, but I didn't know that she did.

She told me what he said later, and I got sooo freaked out...

Here it is..

Her: Hi, its Rain,

Him: Are you going to the pool today?

Her: Not today, maybe sometime...

Him: Sometime? Do you think its weird for me to be talking to you?

Her: Yes, do you have a girlfriend?

Him:No...why are you interested?

Her: I'm a freshman in high school...

Him: I'm a sophmore in collage. Your a little young for me...
Your cute, but maybe if you were older...

Her: Ahhhhhhhhh!

Him: What?

Her: I'm a freshmen! Hence- Ahhhhhhh!

Haha, so the next day that I saw him at the pool, I just said hi, and swam away...
I didn't have to use a knife or any other weapon...
and I didn't have to call out my inner Chaos...
It all worked out fine...sorta...

I know I shouldn't say this but...I'm sorry

To quickly explain the title...
Everyone I know says I say 'sorry' way to much...and I know its true.
But I just cant help it...
If someone steps on my toe, or smacks me, I say sorry...
Kind of like apoligizing for them...oops
I have got to learn how to stop...

Anyway...
I got sunburned, and I havent even been at the pool for more then two days...
It hurts, but doesnt look TO bad...
But as soon as it melts into a tan, it will be worth it, haha just kidding...
I swear I did not get sunburned on purpose...

My cousin, the nine year old that I am babysitting, she is seriously vicious!
She hits, scratches, and kicks...but she does it in this playful way, that you cant really get her in trouble...its frustrating...
And she lies ALL the time..it bugging the heck out of me...
She'll tell the truth for like two out of ten questions asked...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I havent been on lately...
I'm supposedly grounded off the computer, but I cant wait until sunday to get it back...
I have this pulling urge to go to the computer, haha
its not my fault...
I got grounded because I forgot to sweep and mop the itchen floor...(sigh)
Ah well....

Blah Blah Blah

<3 <3 <3 <3

(To: Chaos) (From: Rain)

Ahhh!
Dont be sad!!!
When I said I didn't like mexicans, you were not supposed to take it personally...
I dont like the mexican guys that yell at me...
Or glare...
I hate it when I'm walking by myself, and they start walking towards me with their friends, yelling at me, and being like, "Hey you girlie! Come here!"
And they start yelling at me, when I start hurrying away..and AHHHHHHHH

I'm already scared of guys...
I guess its not that I dont like mexicans, I know alot of nice ones, now that I think about it...
I'm just scared of them...

Please dont take it personally...if you are mexican....
please?
Dont be mad at me...

Angel is already mad at me, and I think its because I am not that big of a fan of Michael Jackson...but now hes not talking to me....
:(

Please dont be mad at me to...I wont be able to bear it...

<3 <3 <3

Bad bad bad...I'm trying not to hypervenilate...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Starting tomorrow and ending when school starts, I begin to babysit my cousin...every day...
Her mum told me to take her to the pool every day, so that my cousin can see her friends...
But this is the cousin that lives in the apartment complex...the same one as the creepy guy at the pool...

That means, being that he told me, that he usually goes to the pool, at least three times a week, that I will see him again...soon...
Pepper spray?
As Chaos suggested...

Well, the only problem is...I wouldn't have the nerve to use it...
My problem is, is that I'm to nice...
I can't be mean...I can pretend when I'm with people I know really well, but they know I'm joking...
I dont have the guts to tell this guy to go away...
I've tried this with another guy, I tried to tell him to go away, but I freaked out, and didnt do it...
Instead I smiled and said Hi, and started talking to him...

(scream)
Thanks for commenting you guys! Your all the greatest...

<3 <3 <3 xoxo

Oh gosh...I ran into another creeper today..well I admit, I saw the trap but walked in anyway...
I should know better by now...(my parents were not there, and my aunt was in her apartment..not good)

I went to the pool today, not a big public one, but a small apartment complex one, where my aunt lives...
I was sitting in the hot tub talking to this little girl and boy...
when their friend walks up, and I know this is creepy, but he was like in his twenties...
He was playing with them earlier on...

Anyway, he asked them, if they wanted to play marco polo...and they said yes..
Then turning to me, asked if I wanted to play...
Going against my better judgement, I agreed, and went to the bigger pool with them...
The whole pool was deserted, except for him, the little girl, the little boy, and I...

We started playing, and the guy was it, he tagged to the little boy, and so we kept playing...
The little boy was about nine years old, and the little girl around eight...
The boy was slow, and couldn't catch anyone...even though he kept peeking form time to time...
The guy grabbed my shoulders, and holding me in front of him, called the boy...
I struggled but this guy was hecka strong, and wouldn't let me go..
So they little boy tagged me...

We played for about ten more minutes, and then we stopped...
The little girl asked if I was ticklish, and I immediately answered no, even though I am the most ticklish person in the world...
The little girl tried to tickle me, which is already awkward..but to make things even more so...
When she found out that I was, and I began to swim away...the guy grabs me by my leg, and pulled me over to him...
Then holds me around the waist, and tells the kids to tickle me...
I kept trying to tell them to quit, but I was laughing to hard...
Ugh...

I went their at around seven and stayed till ten...
And all through that time...
The guy kept grabbing me, and would either have me by the arms in front of him, so that the little kids couldn't splash him, or he'd have me by the waist, and let the kids tickle me...
At one point I got out of the pool, and was walking along the edge, when the little boy got out of the water, and started running towars me, so I started running around the oppisite side...
The guy got out of the water to, and came after me...
The little boy started like trying to hit me, and I was like, oh gosh!
So I was holding him off, when the guy came up and moved the kid, then wrapping his arm around my waist, started running towards the pool...
Then when he was almost at the edge, he whispered for me to just jump....
So I did, and he stood there, making it look like he had thrown me in...

Crazy night...
I have got to get batter at telling people to stop, or whatever...
I'm TO nice, and it gets annoying after awhile, but one day, when I'm over being scared of people, I might just be able to tell them, what I want...

I know this is long, and you guys are really wonderful to have put up with this post for this long, but one last thing...
When I got home from the pool, my friend calls me, shes the one with the mean older brother, thte guy that hates me..
She was crying and went on to tell me that her brother got pissed at her, so he had messed with her computer, and she was fed up with it, because he does this stuff all the time!
He went on her ipod and deleted 95% of her songs, and the list of stuff he does goes on and on..
So she told me that tonight she had had enough, so she went into his room, when he wasnt there, and she deleted all his contacts off his cell phone, and had taken his memory card chip out from the back of his phone, and had it in her pocket...

When he found out, he had grabbed her and shaken her, and kept hitting her, yelling at her to give it back...that went on for about ten minutes, and she didnt give in...
She told him that she wouldnt give it to him, until he was nice...

While we were talking, she stopped, and said someone was at her door...
So she went over there, and it was him...
He smashed through the lock on the door, and started shaking and hitting her, again..and this time, she finally gave it to him...

I felt sooo bad, cause there is nothing I can do, and her mother doesnt let her have friends over alot, and its just all bad... :(

Sad and alone...comfort me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vHM-BNDUD4

Lonely...I am miss lonely..I have nobody, for my own...

You said you loved me, and everytime you did, I believed you...
But then you stopped, and I've stopped believeing that you do...
I keep apoligizing, but it doesnt matter...
Your slowly shutting the door, inch by inch,
shutting me out...
Your changing, and its fine, everyone does...
But you no longer care for me...
Its harder for me to move on though,
you've become my life...

This isnt written about me...but for someone else...

Singling people out is fun... :)

Well, not much has happened since the cousins came...
I had to remember what I did with my life, before they were here...
Its sad, but that how bad my memory is, but I'm back on track...I dont really do anything..
Do chores during the day, do computer all night..and talk to people on the phone..haha

I went out to ice cream with my dad today, that was fun...
We talked about how I needed plans for my future and what I'm doing about collage...
I figure that I've got two more years, nothing to worry about...right?
Well not according to him...ah well...

Stephen and Angel, I hope your enjoying your country life...and that you hurry up and get back, so that we see you on blogger more often...
Stephen come over to the United States, and I'll cut your hair for you...I'm quite good actually...
Angel, I know your not really exactly enjoying yourself...but I'm sure Stephen appriciates all your efforts...dont you Stephen... (cough...nudge)

Dakota, Chaos, and Stephen...I just want to say that I think it was amazing of you guys to all suffer through reading my whole report of the cousins...that report was hecka long, and you all read it... so you all win prizes!
The prize is...ummm...a...HUG!!!!
haha

(hug) (hug) (hug)
<3

I'm Home!!!!

Sorry that this is going to be so long, and that it probably gets really annoying , because I dont like to say peoples names...so bear with me...
Stephen said he wanted to know everything...even the color of the sky...so here goes...

On Wednesday the three girl cousins, with there mum and dad, and my grandparents, came at six thirty p.m....
The grownups went to stay at a hotel, and the girl cousins got to stay here, in my room... :)
There dad is SO strict...yes, stricter then my mother...and he was like, "NO talking past nine, and I want you all asleep by nine to!" He said this at eight fifty, pm...I was like...lovely...
Oh well....
My mother gave me a HUGE lecture before they came, about NO talking back, and I had to do anything they wanted me to, and that I wasn't allowed to run off, etc...ugh
Oh, and on Wednesday the sky was blue...haha


On Thursday I woke up, and we cleaned all day long...that night I had to go to a dress rehearsal, for ballet...
My group were guest dancers, at some small schools recital...
Not much happened...
My three girl cousins and I were sitting in the car singing, on the way to the store...somehow we started singing, 'Rain,Rain go away, come again another day', that was not nice...but we all laughed...
But the sky was a very gorgeous blue with puffy clouds...


Friday...big surprise we all cleaned the house again...its what my mothers side of the family LOVES to do...ugh
Later I went to the ballet recital thingy, and went home...more cousins and aunts and uncles were there if you can believe it...
Everyone went to their hotels at about eleven thirty, and some of them stayed here at my house...including my favorite cousin... :)
He and I sat in the kitchen talking to one in the morning...it was soo much fun...
It was a good night except for the fact that I had been kicked out of my room and out onto the couch...haha


Saturday was the day that things happened...
We cleaned all morning, and I didn't because I had to get ready for our last performance...and leave at eleven thirty...
So I went to go get ready at ten or so, and then we left...
I got in HUGE trouble...cause my aunt went to my mother, and started ratting on me about how I hadnt helped, and how I was a terrible worker and so on...
but its all good now...kinda...haha
My neighbor drove me to this performance, and my favorite cousin went with me... :)
He sat and watched the whole ballet thingy..just for me...and for the sake of getting out of doing chores at home...hahaha
Then we all went to Starbucks...and got home around four...

At four we were having a huge party, with all the family and friends...so we had about forty people...
I was still in major trouble, so instead of getting to go out and talk, etc...I was stuck in the kitchen...Finally all the dishes were done, and their was nothing left to clean up, so I went out and we played basketball...
Boys against girls...
Ugh..the girls lost terrible...cause all three of my boy cousins are really good at basketball...one is 6'5, and that kind of helps, another can shoot the ball into the basket from any distance, and the third IS a basketball player, and really good, except just a little young...haha
But it was fun...

My self esteem was slowly sinking, cause I don't know why but one of my guy cousins absolutely hates me... he just insulted me the whole time....
Ugh...why do guys have a habit of hating me for no good reason...do they just look at me, and decide to hate me or something? Maybe its a guy thing...help?


Sunday Morning Iwas woken up at eight and went out to say goodbye because 3/4 of the cousins and aunts and uncles were leaving...and my grandparents...
All that was left was my favorite cousin, and his mom...(my favorite aunt) and
the mean cousin and his family...
My fav cousin, and his mum slept at our house, and the other family didn't come till around eleven..
When he finally woke up, he and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, when I found that I had a rubber band...not the kind for hair, but the plastic kind...that are usually found on vegetables...
I was showing him that if you snap it on a certain place on your wrist it doesn't hurt a bit...
I did it to him, and then he did it to me...
I have really delicate skin, so I got these big puffy welts on my wrist, haha
He had nothing...
He was like, "Gosh Rain, it looks like you got whipped!" hahhahahaha

And then they left...

The End...

Waiting for people to come, is one of the hardest things in the world...

Don't cry Stephen, I'll be back...
When it rains, I'm there with you, so be mindful of your actions...I'm watching you...lol

We called them at two thirty, and they said they would be here in four hours...so I've got time...
I've been cleaning all day, and am entirely sick of it...
When they get here I am going to slap them all, like Angel suggested...

I think I'll also slap that guy who hates me, and say its from Angel...but with his permission of course...may I Angel???
Pleeeeease?
I'd call you Sean, but you always have that little dash thing in the middle of the E and the A, and I cant find how to do that on my computer...but if you want I could resort back to just Sean...
Whatever you want...

What am I going to do without you all til Monday?
I will be slowly dying, the pain will fill me up and then I shall burst, and die...
And then of course it would be appropriate to cry THEN Stephen..haha
Mother coming...bye!

Wish me luck...

Well, I have a break from doing chores all morning, so here I am....
Whats new, that wasn't said last night? Ummm...

First lets state the over obvious just to be annoying...
Chaos is back!!!!
(pause here for round of applause)

Well its summer, and if you guys aren't on summer break yet, sucks to be you....just kidding..
Summer is supposed to be a time of joy, and people going out, and enjoying the nice weather....
But summer is usually the time I don't get invited to alot of things, because people want nice weather...no rain...ouch

Ugh...have to go, talk to you guys on Monday!!!!

Oh God, it's raining...but I'm not complaining...its filling me up with new life...

Okay guys...I'm back...and I'm here to clear up the suspense..as Stephen put it...haha



Umm, alot has been going on, and my mother wont leave me alone!!!

But here I am at eleven forty at night, writing this to you, because I love you all....



Lets start with...the guy...
Yes, the guy who was sending the hate texts...
Well his sister invited me to go to a movie, Terminator, with her, and so I went...
It turned out that it was her and I and ten or more other guys from my church...ugh

Anyway, on the way to the movie theater, we went to Wendy's to grab dinner...
All the way he and I were arguing, and basically just being really mean to each other...
More him then me...I promise...
His best friend was with us, and the friend turns to me, and says,"Wow, he REALLY hates you...did you know that" haha
I just laughed, and I told him he was very observeant, (sarcastically)...

Then I went home with this guy and his sister...and spent the night...that was interesting...ugh
He was really scaring me...whenever I was in the same room as him, he'd stare at me, and whenever I looked over at him, he'd give me this creepy crooked smile, and leave...or he'd make some mean comment, and then do the creepy ssmile, and then leave...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I am so happy to be out of there still alive...his sister and I had a ton of fun, but ugh...whenever he came in the same room...mentally run away screaming...
He is in love with this girl, who in my opinion is completely retarded...ugh...
She's one of those little copycats that thinks they are so cool...you know the type, they all have the same hairstyle, and have no personality, and all they talk about is boys...

ANYWAY...

My cousins are coming, and my mother is frantic abut the house...my grandmother is also coming...we are cleaning day in and day out...
They are coming on Wednesday, and leaving Sunday...so I wont be able to probubly get on the computer until Monday...so dont worry I'll be back...

Wild horses couldn't pull me away from my blog...but my mother somehow can..haha...

Any Questions???
If you do, please ask, I love answering them... :)

Love you guys!!!

Interesting?...or Not...

I went to the doctors on Tuesday, and had to got an allergy test...
Luckily, instead of them poking fifty needles in my arm, they
gave me the patch test.
They put three huge rectangular patches on my back, and I had to keep them on
until Thursday, which is today! :)
hey really hurt, cause they are sticky like tape, and they hold onto my back for dear life, and it hurts every time I move...
I went to ballet on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and was moving my back constantly the whole time. That was not fun at all.
So basically I was in pain the whole time, and on top of it I had my teacher yelling at me...

I'm not supposed to tell anyone, so you guys, keep your mouths shut...
I have no money for ballet, so I'm doing it for free.
I'm the only student in the ballet studio who is in for free...
I was going to leave, but she doesn't want me to, because I'm so good... :)
I help her out by helping teach classes, this summer I'm teaching tap...that's a new one...

I'm also the secretary, when her husband can't come...
Next month he can't come for a whole week...so that should be interesting.
I take phone calls, and take checks...
The bad thing, is that he has no computer, so I just sit there all day...
Sitting...haha

Apoligize

I am really sorry for the past, pesent and future misspellings...I know I'm really bad at spelling, and I am sooo sorry, espessially for the last post....

When the rain stops falling...

With that guy I ignored last Sunday...well luckily for me, he is strangly very shy in public..so I'm off the hook...

I was talking to his sister the other day, my best friend, and she knows all about the texts, and everything that goes on between him and I. Anyway she knows him better then I, including his pervertedness and meaness, and actually she suffers from it more then I, poor thing...

Anyway, she said jokeingly that he would probubly shove me in a closet and have some fun with me...Ah! But thats only when he's feeling perverted...Bad news, is that I'm going to see him this Friday, and face him and ask him what his problem is...
You guys are all the best for commenting on my blog, and I love you all...

It seriously brightens my day when ever I read your posts...
My life can get really depressing, and you guys all make it better...:)

I got yelled at all day by my mother, and finally got so fed up with it, that I took a walk, I left at seven thirty and came back at eight...since we live in such a creepy neighborhood, you can imagine she wasn't to happy about that...

When I say creepy, I don't want you guys to all to get images of a small, dark neighborhood that disgusting...
It's sunny and bright, and the houses are beutiful, I live by two parks, and there is alot of grass and trees...in other words, just plain pretty...no dark and depressing neighborhood...haha

My life flashed before my eyes...and it didn't look to good...

Ahhh!
My mother got my phone bill, and saw that instead of the usual fifteen, I owed $136...
She was about to kill me...it was because of all the texting...and I checked my gmail a few times from my phone...and I called tons of people...

I swear my life flashed before my eyes...
Ugh..talk about near death experiences...

To do or not to do...that is the question...

I am wondering if I should get a Twitter...
I hear from Sarah that its lame, but from(Angel/Se'an)...ummm I think I'll call him Angel, considering its easier...sorry...that its not...

Confusing...
Give me your thoughts on this subject, and if they are positive enough, I may get one...

Guys, cigars, and an MP3 player...

Haha, so I saw that guy, (the one who was sending me the hate texts...), I ignored him completely...He was talking to two of his friends, and I'm friends with them, so I walked over, and completely ignoring him, I asked the other two if they knew where my friend was...Haha...

He was glaring at me, but I looked everywhere but him...haha
At the end of the day, he was seriously pissed...but I'm glad...
I'm not usually this cruel, I mean I can be, but I never carry out any false threats, and everyone knows I'm kidding...
But with people like this guy, I can be cruel...and I think it worked...

I got an MP3 player, finally...
My mother didn't want me to have one, but my friend gave me one that she thought she had lost...so its all good...:)

Last night I went to a graduation, it was sooo much fun!
Talked to friends, got lots of hugs, and seriously forgot all my problems for one night!
It was really fun..then we went outside, where all the guys, and teachers were smoking cigars...
haha and wanted to try one...
One guy gave me his, and told me to try it, and I was going to, but then had second thoughts about it...haha...I now wish I had...but still...oh well

Guilty Feelings

Okay, well I got on just to read and comment on you guy's blogs, and I kind of felt guilty about not posting anything, so here's an attempt...

Ummm..I went to bed a one thirty in the morning, and got up at eight...
I had to rush off, and go teach little kids ballet...
I didn't get out of their until twelve thirty, and then for the first time all day, was able to eat something....

My dad gave me $100 to spend on clothes, so I've been shopping...(big smile)
(Haha, I had to put this in here, because Sarah and Stephen always talk about their money, with their special little money signs, and I never know how much they mean...
So you guys can figure this out...)

Umm, thats about it...nothing big has happened yet, but I feel it will soon...
Maybe tomorrow...
Talk to you then...

<3

i am sorry...

I'm sorry, but I have nothing to write...
My life is at a deadly standstill...

I feel terrible...so tomorrow I'll go out, and make something happen...or at least try...
I'm good at that...
haha, my friend and I had nothing that we hadn't already talked about, so we both decided to do something way out of the ordinary...and tell about it...

She forget and didn't do anything...but I had a different friend over and she and I had a photo shoot on the shed roof...the pictures turned out really funny...we also were holding a big bunch of fake red roses...

My dad built me a ladder on the side of the shed, so I could sit up there when I needed some place quiet...its really nice...

My mother wasn't to happy about it..but shes cooled down now...

Abducted

This is the almost abducted story I said I'd tell from last post...
This happened when I was five, but I still remember it like it was yesterday....

I was riding my bike, and I was going way ahead of my mother...
I turned the corner, so that I was out of her sight completely...
There were two twenty year old guys sitting in a car, and they slowly drove over, and pulled up right in front of me, but left the engine running...
The guy in the passenger seat rolled down his window, and was like, "Hey! That's my bike..."
I was riding this little tiny pink bike, and just looked at him, and was like, "No, this is my bike."

I just thought they were confused...

The guy got out of the car, but he left his door open, and walked over to me and reached out to grab me, when my mother walked around the corner, and he ran into the car, and they sped away...

That was the day I learned to never talk to strangers...
I didn't think anything of it, I just thought they were seriously confused people...
but then when I was eight..it clicked...
I've never forgotten it, and maybe that what scares me the most....

Randem thing:

Yesterday I was walking around the block, and this bright red car drives past me.
I looked at it, and there was only a guy driving it...it was kind of a weird car...
So I stared at it, as he passes, and the guy looks right at me, and gives me the middle finger...
I was just like, "Lovely...I'm glad I live in such a 'nice' neighborhood..."

Sorry this is so long...

The guy from the last post...with his pictures...well it turns out he didn't send me one, but three...
Lovely...
I found out that he was pressing his palms together to create the picture...
Ugh... how immature can he get...apparently...lots...
After the third picture I told him to cut it out...because I don't have texting, and it was costing me a ton of money! I also have no money at the moment...and considering that I pay for my own ballet lessens and phone...my mother will be rather angry...
He then has the nerve to ask if I want pictures of different specimens...and I was just like...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Serious creeper!!!!
The other problem is, I'm literally half his height...I'm about five feet tall, and he's about...I don't even know...I come up to his elbow...its scary, but everyone in their family is tall...and they have nine kids...
I've always been kind of scared of him, but know that he seriously hates me, I'm going to be in hiding for the next few months...I see him every Sunday, at church...

Anyway...

What else? Ummmm...
I have this huge bruise on my leg from my skates, and my arms are all cut up, cause my cat got a little excited this morning...and attacked me...

I sent Stephen an invitation on msn...I'm not sure if that worked...
and I found out that I can't send emails..is that because I don't have 'hotmail'????

My mother is signing me up to go to the local public school, for just math and science...
and then I'll walk home and do the rest of my school, here at home...
This should be interesting considering I'm scared out of my wits by people I don't know...
I'm not racist but mexicans scare me to death...
I've always been scared of people, but I've made myself take a walk around the block everyday, and go outside alot more...

If I had my way, I'd be happy to stay in the house all day...but I think maybe its my imagination that scares me the most...
I was almost abducted when I was little, and I remember it so clearly its scary...but luckily my mother walked around the corner just before he could do anything...
I'll tell that story next post...

Ah well...I'm getting over it...and it doesn't help that I'm shorter then everyone my age...but still...

(shudder)

My friends older brother...the one that made me so pissed off, has been sending me hate texts...
He has never talked to me in his life! I've never talked to him...

This morning...I'm sitting here...checking you people's blogs to comment, when he sends me a picture of his butt!
Well, anyway thats what it looked like, I'm praying it was something else made up to look like it...
(shudder)

Ahhh! Why me?

Fun?

Tonight I was invited to go skating at the local skating rink near my house...
My mother wasn't home, haha, and my dad let me go...
He dropped me off, and the family had said they would drive me home, so I went...

I hope this doesn't sound really self centered...but I am a very good roller blader...and I brought my own, so I had tons of fun, speeding around the rink, and watching everybody turn into blobs as I sped past them...haha

My friend had invited me, and another girl, the other girl hated skating...so my friend sat with her most of the time...

I was going around, when her older brother stopped me, he's a year older then me...
He was like, "If you don't stop going so fast, I'm going to push you...and then you'll fall over"
He said it jokingly, and I laughed, and sped by him...he isn't super fast, but he is fast enough to keep up with me if he wanted to...I've known him for years, because I'm friends with his sister, but we have never really talked...

I came up behind him, and said, "You can't push me, I'm a girl..." and so saying I tapped him on the back with my fingertips, as if I was going to push him over...and then sped off...

Okay yes, I admit...I might have been flirting a bit...but still...

So on and off all night, he'd come up behind me and try to push me over, and I'd try to push him...but nether of us succeeded...

I got crushed into a wall a few times, but wasn't hurt thankfully...thanks to all the balance ballet gives me...

The only times I really DID get hurt, was whenever I pushed him, he'd grab my arm, so that if he fell over, I'd have to go with him... He almost broke my finger...ow!
And once when he pushed me my neck snapped, and it cracked really loudly...

Because I'm an only child, people think I'm delicate, but I'm not...
I can take most anything people dish out...and it seems people have no problem dishing it out...haha

I'm not immune to pain, but whenever I get hurt I laugh...its weird...
If I laugh really hard, you might want to consider my bone being broken...

I cry if my feelings are hurt...and laugh if I'm hurt physically...

Strange...

Oops...

Sorry this is soo late....

The play, Alice in Wonderland, that we did was amazing!
We did two shows, and everyone loved it...
It was ballet, so their were no words...but it was amazing...
I didn't get a solo part, but I still had six dances to do...but I loved every minute of it!!!

I was the understudy for the rabbit...which is a HUGE part...but unfortuently she wasnt sick...haha

Not so blissfully happy anymore...

Tonight we had dress rehearsal, and that went absolutly horrible!
But thats okay, if you have a perfect dress rehearsal, the show is horrible, and vice versa...
So the show shouldn't be to bad...

My feet are killing me, and we only did the whole show once!
Tommorw we do it twice!
I have six different dances to do...haha fun stuff...

Argh! And I'm really pissed at my friend's older brother right now...
But I won't go into that...

randem post

Its one o'clock in the morning...

But I plan on finishing three papers before I go to bed...

Will this happen? Probubly not...

Complete and blissfully happy!

I only have four more papers, and then I'm done being a freshman forever!
Tenth grade seems so much older..haha

Ah! I'll be sixteen! Thats sooo old!
Even though you guys are older...still...

Angel, I have a huge ballet production, coming up this weekend...
If you lived closer, I'd invite you...
Haha, I'd invite Stephen to, but he's studying, and wouldn't get as much out of it...

<3 <3 <3

No more Rain...

Well, its summer time at last...
Maybe I'll change my name to sun...
Haha...

Whenever it stops raining, I feel like I've left...
Not that I have anything against the sun...
No no, don't get me wrong, sun is good, just I am better...

Ugh...

Will I ever be old enough be left home on my parents buisness trips?
Maybe its because I don't have the courage to stand up to them, and put my foot down.
They wouldn't listen anyhow...

From Friday to Sunday we were in Washington...

Summer is coming up!
I can't wait, relatives will be here for maybe a week, and then total freedom!

Creepy...

My mother left to go the grocery store, and actually left me home by myself!
I was so proud...haha

While she was gone, this guy pulled up right in front of my house...
And got out of the car, and started staring at my house, and the neighbors house.
He looked to be about 27, and had no intention of leaving.

So, to scare him away, I went out there, to go to the mail box, which is only about
six feet away from my house. I walked out the door, and completely ignored him, pretending I hadn't even noticed him.

He got back in the car, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watch me go all the way
to the mailbox. I got the mail, and headed back to the house. He just sat there, as bold as could be, staring at me.

I even looked right at him, pretending to notice him for the first time, but he stared right back at me, and didn't even look away. I walked back to the house, as casual as I could, without running and screaming, and closed the door behind me.

Then I ran and locked all the doors. I saw him sit there, staring at my house for like two more minutes and then drive away.

Creeper!

Haha...

This is the best shirt ever! I want one...

I absolutly love it, when its raining, and I'm walking in a store, or any randem place, and I hear people tell eachother how much they love the rain...

It makes me laugh...

Shush

Cover your ears, I'm about to scream...

Why does everyone have to tell me to be quiet?
Ah! They might as well cut out my vocal cords, and then they would be happy.
Everyone thinks I talk to much...

It horrible!

Stephen!

You must have good taste, cause everytime I go to join a blog, your already there...
Not just sometimes, EVERYTIME!

I swear I'm not stalking you...haha...
Though it probubly seems like it, I just share your taste in blogs, or you share mine...something like that...

Hurt...

Ugh...so yesturday, on Sunday, I went to this party with my parents...
It was mainly for the parents, but some brought their children...
The little kids played outside, and the older kids, (teenagers) where downstairs.

There were alot of guys, and me...
Lovely, so I just sat there, listening to them being perverted, and rolling my eyes. Ugh...

There was this small coin on the floor, so I picked it up, and threw it towards the couch,
and it accidentally hit one of the guys! I was really embarrassed, and said I was sorry, but his friend picked up this other metal thing, that was slightly larger,and threw it at me! It really hurt to!

Ugh, so I guess they thought they were flirting or something, but all day, if they had something, they'd just throw it at me..I was shocked...

This one guy kept getting in my face about every little thing, he would literally be like a centimeter from my face...Creepy!

I also got hit with a rular, once accidentally, second time on purpose, and slapped with a belt, that happened to be laying around, on the floor! Gosh!

What is the matter with boys, do they feel some urge to pick on the smallest person in the room...?
Not only was I the only girl, but the smallest, the shortest, the prettiest..haha just kidding...

Some other guy wanted my chair, and when I wouldn't give it to him, he picked me up, and lifted me off it, setting me on the floor, he was bold enough to take my chair...

I used to know them all really well, and be friends with them, but I haven't seen them in, what? Two years? They were all best friends, so that left me out, anyway...

Note to self: Never hang out with the kids, go talk with the parents about the money draw back, and relationships...

Make up your mind!

Some people say that 'absense makes the heart grow fonder.'..

Yet others say, 'Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, and going away, means forgetting'...

This doesn't apply to me...but when you love someone and they go away...which of these is true?

Ah! Talk about embarrassing!

I was argueing with my dad, and I can't argue, so I ended up in tears...as always...ugh...
And all the sudden my math tutor came up, and I had forgotten she was coming!
It was so awkward, argh...my face was all blotchy, and she kept giving me weird looks...

Love it!

This is absolutly 100% amazing!!!!
This guy has talent...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAwR6w2TgxY&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fspeactra%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded

Just stop, and go away!

Ugh...I hate the guys in my neighborhood...
I walk down the street, and it bugs me when they call out to me,
or yell there number at my back...
Gosh..I'm not desperate...but thanks anyway..
Or I'm walking, and a car drives by, and
guys stick their heads out of the window,
and yell, or something...it scares me so bad!

Doesn't anyone know the definition of rude, anymore?
Maybe its just me, but...yeah...

Scary...

I forgot one thing, so I'll tell you now...
I had a really creepy dream last night, it really scared me...
I was some girl...and there was this guy with her...
I'm an only child, but in my dream, I had an older brother...
It kind of went like this:

"Ah! You make me so annoyed sometimes! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk you anymore. I'm leaving!" he yelled.
I looked up at him, and silently backed away."Don't leave me," I whispered."You promised you'd never leave.."

All the sudden everything went black, and I woke up...
It was so weird, almost like a story being told, or us acting out a play...
Why do people have to yell at me in my dreams to?
Whats really creepy, is that I remember it so exactly...

Ugh...

Still grounded, and probably will be for about two weeks...
But that's okay, it will be summer, and I can do whatever I want when I'm not being dragged
off to some exotic place....

Random comment of the day:

I really love tangerines, they make my life...
There so small, and sweet, and nice...
They don't make you hallucinate, and they smell nice...

Papers are all bad...

Well, I wrote papers all yesterday...fun stuff...

Stephan, thanks for commenting, you and Sarah make me feel loved, haha

I still have 26 more papers to write in a period of eight days, so I guess I had better go get started...Ugh

New

Today is all new and all mine...

Things to accomplish today:
~Butter parents up, and get ungrounded
~Do ALL schoolwork
~write lots of papers...ugh

Haha, I doubt I'll get it all done, but still....

Tired...

I seriously havent been getting enough sleep...
One night I go to bed at tweleve, the next night/morning, at one...haha
I guess you would have to call that morning...

I feel bloated, I think I ate to much at dinner...
Ugh..its a bad feeling...haha

If I'm caught on the computer tonight, I'll be killed...
I got in major trouble, and now I'm not allowed on my phone, computer..
pretty much anything that allows me to talk to other people...
I'm not allowed outside even!

But it shouldn't last to long...
What did I do to deserve this punishment?
No idea...
I came home the other, and was told I was grounded, and to go to my room...
ugh...

Week...

My internet keeps leaving me, and then coming back...
It is starting to annoy me greatly...

I talked to a poor, sad, little emo kid today...gosh, his life is rough...
He was abused by his other, both phisically and mentally.
And she was arrested two weeks ago.
Now he lives with his dad, and I havent seen him since...
but still...creepy...

Tired...

Stayed up talking on the phone all night...even though technically I'm grounded off computer and phone....and basically anything that brings me joy, at the moment...

Luckily my parents are sleeping... haha oops

I was feeling really depressed, and then I went out today, and got to see all my friends....
Haha, it was fun...even though the guys were all making perverted gay jokes...
I can't complain, I was laughing to hard...they werent being that gross, just funny.
I shouldnt laugh...oh dear....

Nebraska...

Nebraska was interesting...
But I'm so tired of travelling...
If my parents trusted me, they would have left me home...apparently they don't...

Ever have those moments, when everyone seems against you?
You know you have friends, but where are they exactly?

I'm having one of those moments...

How can emo people take joy in suffering?
Its horrible....

Its no longer Raining...

Well, the rain is gone, and soon it will be summer...
Everyone thinks Valentines Day is a big time of year, for love...
But actually its Spring...and summer...
So there...haha

I just ate dinner...and I should go to bed...but I am waiting...I'm just not sure what I'm waiting for though...

But I'll know when it happens...

Sorry..

I've been to depressing in my writings...I didn't actually get a blog to complain...
My mood will hopefully lighten, as the weather does...
Or my homework load...haha that will be nice.

Oh dear...

What really defines happiness?
I think it is to be held by the one who you love,
but what if you are alone in the world,
and no ones arms are their to protect you from the word?
Do you just let the current of the world run over your head, and let yourself die?
Or do you fight it and live? Death is easy and peaceful, and living is harder,
which path should I choose?

How?

How can my heart be broken,
when it wasn't even whole to begin with?

Broken hearts

An empty space is all that's left,
of where my heart should be.
The love that once lit up my life,
now just a memory.
I miss you more then words can say,
but nothing stops the pain,
And if I could, I'd turn back in time,
to see your face again...

Questions

If the birds flew backward, and the rain fell upward, would the world be right?

When you see a star in the sky, do we name it? Or do you not bother,
knowing someone probably already did...?

If love is good, and hate is bad, why is love so rare, and hate so common?