(To: Chaos) (From: Rain)

Ahhh!
Dont be sad!!!
When I said I didn't like mexicans, you were not supposed to take it personally...
I dont like the mexican guys that yell at me...
Or glare...
I hate it when I'm walking by myself, and they start walking towards me with their friends, yelling at me, and being like, "Hey you girlie! Come here!"
And they start yelling at me, when I start hurrying away..and AHHHHHHHH

I'm already scared of guys...
I guess its not that I dont like mexicans, I know alot of nice ones, now that I think about it...
I'm just scared of them...

Please dont take it personally...if you are mexican....
please?
Dont be mad at me...

Angel is already mad at me, and I think its because I am not that big of a fan of Michael Jackson...but now hes not talking to me....
:(

Please dont be mad at me to...I wont be able to bear it...

<3 <3 <3

Bad bad bad...I'm trying not to hypervenilate...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Starting tomorrow and ending when school starts, I begin to babysit my cousin...every day...
Her mum told me to take her to the pool every day, so that my cousin can see her friends...
But this is the cousin that lives in the apartment complex...the same one as the creepy guy at the pool...

That means, being that he told me, that he usually goes to the pool, at least three times a week, that I will see him again...soon...
Pepper spray?
As Chaos suggested...

Well, the only problem is...I wouldn't have the nerve to use it...
My problem is, is that I'm to nice...
I can't be mean...I can pretend when I'm with people I know really well, but they know I'm joking...
I dont have the guts to tell this guy to go away...
I've tried this with another guy, I tried to tell him to go away, but I freaked out, and didnt do it...
Instead I smiled and said Hi, and started talking to him...

(scream)
Thanks for commenting you guys! Your all the greatest...

<3 <3 <3 xoxo

Oh gosh...I ran into another creeper today..well I admit, I saw the trap but walked in anyway...
I should know better by now...(my parents were not there, and my aunt was in her apartment..not good)

I went to the pool today, not a big public one, but a small apartment complex one, where my aunt lives...
I was sitting in the hot tub talking to this little girl and boy...
when their friend walks up, and I know this is creepy, but he was like in his twenties...
He was playing with them earlier on...

Anyway, he asked them, if they wanted to play marco polo...and they said yes..
Then turning to me, asked if I wanted to play...
Going against my better judgement, I agreed, and went to the bigger pool with them...
The whole pool was deserted, except for him, the little girl, the little boy, and I...

We started playing, and the guy was it, he tagged to the little boy, and so we kept playing...
The little boy was about nine years old, and the little girl around eight...
The boy was slow, and couldn't catch anyone...even though he kept peeking form time to time...
The guy grabbed my shoulders, and holding me in front of him, called the boy...
I struggled but this guy was hecka strong, and wouldn't let me go..
So they little boy tagged me...

We played for about ten more minutes, and then we stopped...
The little girl asked if I was ticklish, and I immediately answered no, even though I am the most ticklish person in the world...
The little girl tried to tickle me, which is already awkward..but to make things even more so...
When she found out that I was, and I began to swim away...the guy grabs me by my leg, and pulled me over to him...
Then holds me around the waist, and tells the kids to tickle me...
I kept trying to tell them to quit, but I was laughing to hard...
Ugh...

I went their at around seven and stayed till ten...
And all through that time...
The guy kept grabbing me, and would either have me by the arms in front of him, so that the little kids couldn't splash him, or he'd have me by the waist, and let the kids tickle me...
At one point I got out of the pool, and was walking along the edge, when the little boy got out of the water, and started running towars me, so I started running around the oppisite side...
The guy got out of the water to, and came after me...
The little boy started like trying to hit me, and I was like, oh gosh!
So I was holding him off, when the guy came up and moved the kid, then wrapping his arm around my waist, started running towards the pool...
Then when he was almost at the edge, he whispered for me to just jump....
So I did, and he stood there, making it look like he had thrown me in...

Crazy night...
I have got to get batter at telling people to stop, or whatever...
I'm TO nice, and it gets annoying after awhile, but one day, when I'm over being scared of people, I might just be able to tell them, what I want...

I know this is long, and you guys are really wonderful to have put up with this post for this long, but one last thing...
When I got home from the pool, my friend calls me, shes the one with the mean older brother, thte guy that hates me..
She was crying and went on to tell me that her brother got pissed at her, so he had messed with her computer, and she was fed up with it, because he does this stuff all the time!
He went on her ipod and deleted 95% of her songs, and the list of stuff he does goes on and on..
So she told me that tonight she had had enough, so she went into his room, when he wasnt there, and she deleted all his contacts off his cell phone, and had taken his memory card chip out from the back of his phone, and had it in her pocket...

When he found out, he had grabbed her and shaken her, and kept hitting her, yelling at her to give it back...that went on for about ten minutes, and she didnt give in...
She told him that she wouldnt give it to him, until he was nice...

While we were talking, she stopped, and said someone was at her door...
So she went over there, and it was him...
He smashed through the lock on the door, and started shaking and hitting her, again..and this time, she finally gave it to him...

I felt sooo bad, cause there is nothing I can do, and her mother doesnt let her have friends over alot, and its just all bad... :(

Sad and alone...comfort me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vHM-BNDUD4

Lonely...I am miss lonely..I have nobody, for my own...

You said you loved me, and everytime you did, I believed you...
But then you stopped, and I've stopped believeing that you do...
I keep apoligizing, but it doesnt matter...
Your slowly shutting the door, inch by inch,
shutting me out...
Your changing, and its fine, everyone does...
But you no longer care for me...
Its harder for me to move on though,
you've become my life...

This isnt written about me...but for someone else...

Singling people out is fun... :)

Well, not much has happened since the cousins came...
I had to remember what I did with my life, before they were here...
Its sad, but that how bad my memory is, but I'm back on track...I dont really do anything..
Do chores during the day, do computer all night..and talk to people on the phone..haha

I went out to ice cream with my dad today, that was fun...
We talked about how I needed plans for my future and what I'm doing about collage...
I figure that I've got two more years, nothing to worry about...right?
Well not according to him...ah well...

Stephen and Angel, I hope your enjoying your country life...and that you hurry up and get back, so that we see you on blogger more often...
Stephen come over to the United States, and I'll cut your hair for you...I'm quite good actually...
Angel, I know your not really exactly enjoying yourself...but I'm sure Stephen appriciates all your efforts...dont you Stephen... (cough...nudge)

Dakota, Chaos, and Stephen...I just want to say that I think it was amazing of you guys to all suffer through reading my whole report of the cousins...that report was hecka long, and you all read it... so you all win prizes!
The prize is...ummm...a...HUG!!!!
haha

(hug) (hug) (hug)
<3

I'm Home!!!!

Sorry that this is going to be so long, and that it probably gets really annoying , because I dont like to say peoples names...so bear with me...
Stephen said he wanted to know everything...even the color of the sky...so here goes...

On Wednesday the three girl cousins, with there mum and dad, and my grandparents, came at six thirty p.m....
The grownups went to stay at a hotel, and the girl cousins got to stay here, in my room... :)
There dad is SO strict...yes, stricter then my mother...and he was like, "NO talking past nine, and I want you all asleep by nine to!" He said this at eight fifty, pm...I was like...lovely...
Oh well....
My mother gave me a HUGE lecture before they came, about NO talking back, and I had to do anything they wanted me to, and that I wasn't allowed to run off, etc...ugh
Oh, and on Wednesday the sky was blue...haha


On Thursday I woke up, and we cleaned all day long...that night I had to go to a dress rehearsal, for ballet...
My group were guest dancers, at some small schools recital...
Not much happened...
My three girl cousins and I were sitting in the car singing, on the way to the store...somehow we started singing, 'Rain,Rain go away, come again another day', that was not nice...but we all laughed...
But the sky was a very gorgeous blue with puffy clouds...


Friday...big surprise we all cleaned the house again...its what my mothers side of the family LOVES to do...ugh
Later I went to the ballet recital thingy, and went home...more cousins and aunts and uncles were there if you can believe it...
Everyone went to their hotels at about eleven thirty, and some of them stayed here at my house...including my favorite cousin... :)
He and I sat in the kitchen talking to one in the morning...it was soo much fun...
It was a good night except for the fact that I had been kicked out of my room and out onto the couch...haha


Saturday was the day that things happened...
We cleaned all morning, and I didn't because I had to get ready for our last performance...and leave at eleven thirty...
So I went to go get ready at ten or so, and then we left...
I got in HUGE trouble...cause my aunt went to my mother, and started ratting on me about how I hadnt helped, and how I was a terrible worker and so on...
but its all good now...kinda...haha
My neighbor drove me to this performance, and my favorite cousin went with me... :)
He sat and watched the whole ballet thingy..just for me...and for the sake of getting out of doing chores at home...hahaha
Then we all went to Starbucks...and got home around four...

At four we were having a huge party, with all the family and friends...so we had about forty people...
I was still in major trouble, so instead of getting to go out and talk, etc...I was stuck in the kitchen...Finally all the dishes were done, and their was nothing left to clean up, so I went out and we played basketball...
Boys against girls...
Ugh..the girls lost terrible...cause all three of my boy cousins are really good at basketball...one is 6'5, and that kind of helps, another can shoot the ball into the basket from any distance, and the third IS a basketball player, and really good, except just a little young...haha
But it was fun...

My self esteem was slowly sinking, cause I don't know why but one of my guy cousins absolutely hates me... he just insulted me the whole time....
Ugh...why do guys have a habit of hating me for no good reason...do they just look at me, and decide to hate me or something? Maybe its a guy thing...help?


Sunday Morning Iwas woken up at eight and went out to say goodbye because 3/4 of the cousins and aunts and uncles were leaving...and my grandparents...
All that was left was my favorite cousin, and his mom...(my favorite aunt) and
the mean cousin and his family...
My fav cousin, and his mum slept at our house, and the other family didn't come till around eleven..
When he finally woke up, he and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, when I found that I had a rubber band...not the kind for hair, but the plastic kind...that are usually found on vegetables...
I was showing him that if you snap it on a certain place on your wrist it doesn't hurt a bit...
I did it to him, and then he did it to me...
I have really delicate skin, so I got these big puffy welts on my wrist, haha
He had nothing...
He was like, "Gosh Rain, it looks like you got whipped!" hahhahahaha

And then they left...

The End...

Waiting for people to come, is one of the hardest things in the world...

Don't cry Stephen, I'll be back...
When it rains, I'm there with you, so be mindful of your actions...I'm watching you...lol

We called them at two thirty, and they said they would be here in four hours...so I've got time...
I've been cleaning all day, and am entirely sick of it...
When they get here I am going to slap them all, like Angel suggested...

I think I'll also slap that guy who hates me, and say its from Angel...but with his permission of course...may I Angel???
Pleeeeease?
I'd call you Sean, but you always have that little dash thing in the middle of the E and the A, and I cant find how to do that on my computer...but if you want I could resort back to just Sean...
Whatever you want...

What am I going to do without you all til Monday?
I will be slowly dying, the pain will fill me up and then I shall burst, and die...
And then of course it would be appropriate to cry THEN Stephen..haha
Mother coming...bye!

Wish me luck...

Well, I have a break from doing chores all morning, so here I am....
Whats new, that wasn't said last night? Ummm...

First lets state the over obvious just to be annoying...
Chaos is back!!!!
(pause here for round of applause)

Well its summer, and if you guys aren't on summer break yet, sucks to be you....just kidding..
Summer is supposed to be a time of joy, and people going out, and enjoying the nice weather....
But summer is usually the time I don't get invited to alot of things, because people want nice weather...no rain...ouch

Ugh...have to go, talk to you guys on Monday!!!!

Oh God, it's raining...but I'm not complaining...its filling me up with new life...

Okay guys...I'm back...and I'm here to clear up the suspense..as Stephen put it...haha



Umm, alot has been going on, and my mother wont leave me alone!!!

But here I am at eleven forty at night, writing this to you, because I love you all....



Lets start with...the guy...
Yes, the guy who was sending the hate texts...
Well his sister invited me to go to a movie, Terminator, with her, and so I went...
It turned out that it was her and I and ten or more other guys from my church...ugh

Anyway, on the way to the movie theater, we went to Wendy's to grab dinner...
All the way he and I were arguing, and basically just being really mean to each other...
More him then me...I promise...
His best friend was with us, and the friend turns to me, and says,"Wow, he REALLY hates you...did you know that" haha
I just laughed, and I told him he was very observeant, (sarcastically)...

Then I went home with this guy and his sister...and spent the night...that was interesting...ugh
He was really scaring me...whenever I was in the same room as him, he'd stare at me, and whenever I looked over at him, he'd give me this creepy crooked smile, and leave...or he'd make some mean comment, and then do the creepy ssmile, and then leave...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I am so happy to be out of there still alive...his sister and I had a ton of fun, but ugh...whenever he came in the same room...mentally run away screaming...
He is in love with this girl, who in my opinion is completely retarded...ugh...
She's one of those little copycats that thinks they are so cool...you know the type, they all have the same hairstyle, and have no personality, and all they talk about is boys...

ANYWAY...

My cousins are coming, and my mother is frantic abut the house...my grandmother is also coming...we are cleaning day in and day out...
They are coming on Wednesday, and leaving Sunday...so I wont be able to probubly get on the computer until Monday...so dont worry I'll be back...

Wild horses couldn't pull me away from my blog...but my mother somehow can..haha...

Any Questions???
If you do, please ask, I love answering them... :)

Love you guys!!!

Interesting?...or Not...

I went to the doctors on Tuesday, and had to got an allergy test...
Luckily, instead of them poking fifty needles in my arm, they
gave me the patch test.
They put three huge rectangular patches on my back, and I had to keep them on
until Thursday, which is today! :)
hey really hurt, cause they are sticky like tape, and they hold onto my back for dear life, and it hurts every time I move...
I went to ballet on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and was moving my back constantly the whole time. That was not fun at all.
So basically I was in pain the whole time, and on top of it I had my teacher yelling at me...

I'm not supposed to tell anyone, so you guys, keep your mouths shut...
I have no money for ballet, so I'm doing it for free.
I'm the only student in the ballet studio who is in for free...
I was going to leave, but she doesn't want me to, because I'm so good... :)
I help her out by helping teach classes, this summer I'm teaching tap...that's a new one...

I'm also the secretary, when her husband can't come...
Next month he can't come for a whole week...so that should be interesting.
I take phone calls, and take checks...
The bad thing, is that he has no computer, so I just sit there all day...
Sitting...haha

Apoligize

I am really sorry for the past, pesent and future misspellings...I know I'm really bad at spelling, and I am sooo sorry, espessially for the last post....

When the rain stops falling...

With that guy I ignored last Sunday...well luckily for me, he is strangly very shy in public..so I'm off the hook...

I was talking to his sister the other day, my best friend, and she knows all about the texts, and everything that goes on between him and I. Anyway she knows him better then I, including his pervertedness and meaness, and actually she suffers from it more then I, poor thing...

Anyway, she said jokeingly that he would probubly shove me in a closet and have some fun with me...Ah! But thats only when he's feeling perverted...Bad news, is that I'm going to see him this Friday, and face him and ask him what his problem is...
You guys are all the best for commenting on my blog, and I love you all...

It seriously brightens my day when ever I read your posts...
My life can get really depressing, and you guys all make it better...:)

I got yelled at all day by my mother, and finally got so fed up with it, that I took a walk, I left at seven thirty and came back at eight...since we live in such a creepy neighborhood, you can imagine she wasn't to happy about that...

When I say creepy, I don't want you guys to all to get images of a small, dark neighborhood that disgusting...
It's sunny and bright, and the houses are beutiful, I live by two parks, and there is alot of grass and trees...in other words, just plain pretty...no dark and depressing neighborhood...haha

My life flashed before my eyes...and it didn't look to good...

Ahhh!
My mother got my phone bill, and saw that instead of the usual fifteen, I owed $136...
She was about to kill me...it was because of all the texting...and I checked my gmail a few times from my phone...and I called tons of people...

I swear my life flashed before my eyes...
Ugh..talk about near death experiences...

To do or not to do...that is the question...

I am wondering if I should get a Twitter...
I hear from Sarah that its lame, but from(Angel/Se'an)...ummm I think I'll call him Angel, considering its easier...sorry...that its not...

Confusing...
Give me your thoughts on this subject, and if they are positive enough, I may get one...

Guys, cigars, and an MP3 player...

Haha, so I saw that guy, (the one who was sending me the hate texts...), I ignored him completely...He was talking to two of his friends, and I'm friends with them, so I walked over, and completely ignoring him, I asked the other two if they knew where my friend was...Haha...

He was glaring at me, but I looked everywhere but him...haha
At the end of the day, he was seriously pissed...but I'm glad...
I'm not usually this cruel, I mean I can be, but I never carry out any false threats, and everyone knows I'm kidding...
But with people like this guy, I can be cruel...and I think it worked...

I got an MP3 player, finally...
My mother didn't want me to have one, but my friend gave me one that she thought she had lost...so its all good...:)

Last night I went to a graduation, it was sooo much fun!
Talked to friends, got lots of hugs, and seriously forgot all my problems for one night!
It was really fun..then we went outside, where all the guys, and teachers were smoking cigars...
haha and wanted to try one...
One guy gave me his, and told me to try it, and I was going to, but then had second thoughts about it...haha...I now wish I had...but still...oh well

Guilty Feelings

Okay, well I got on just to read and comment on you guy's blogs, and I kind of felt guilty about not posting anything, so here's an attempt...

Ummm..I went to bed a one thirty in the morning, and got up at eight...
I had to rush off, and go teach little kids ballet...
I didn't get out of their until twelve thirty, and then for the first time all day, was able to eat something....

My dad gave me $100 to spend on clothes, so I've been shopping...(big smile)
(Haha, I had to put this in here, because Sarah and Stephen always talk about their money, with their special little money signs, and I never know how much they mean...
So you guys can figure this out...)

Umm, thats about it...nothing big has happened yet, but I feel it will soon...
Maybe tomorrow...
Talk to you then...

<3

i am sorry...

I'm sorry, but I have nothing to write...
My life is at a deadly standstill...

I feel terrible...so tomorrow I'll go out, and make something happen...or at least try...
I'm good at that...
haha, my friend and I had nothing that we hadn't already talked about, so we both decided to do something way out of the ordinary...and tell about it...

She forget and didn't do anything...but I had a different friend over and she and I had a photo shoot on the shed roof...the pictures turned out really funny...we also were holding a big bunch of fake red roses...

My dad built me a ladder on the side of the shed, so I could sit up there when I needed some place quiet...its really nice...

My mother wasn't to happy about it..but shes cooled down now...

Abducted

This is the almost abducted story I said I'd tell from last post...
This happened when I was five, but I still remember it like it was yesterday....

I was riding my bike, and I was going way ahead of my mother...
I turned the corner, so that I was out of her sight completely...
There were two twenty year old guys sitting in a car, and they slowly drove over, and pulled up right in front of me, but left the engine running...
The guy in the passenger seat rolled down his window, and was like, "Hey! That's my bike..."
I was riding this little tiny pink bike, and just looked at him, and was like, "No, this is my bike."

I just thought they were confused...

The guy got out of the car, but he left his door open, and walked over to me and reached out to grab me, when my mother walked around the corner, and he ran into the car, and they sped away...

That was the day I learned to never talk to strangers...
I didn't think anything of it, I just thought they were seriously confused people...
but then when I was eight..it clicked...
I've never forgotten it, and maybe that what scares me the most....

Randem thing:

Yesterday I was walking around the block, and this bright red car drives past me.
I looked at it, and there was only a guy driving it...it was kind of a weird car...
So I stared at it, as he passes, and the guy looks right at me, and gives me the middle finger...
I was just like, "Lovely...I'm glad I live in such a 'nice' neighborhood..."

Sorry this is so long...

The guy from the last post...with his pictures...well it turns out he didn't send me one, but three...
Lovely...
I found out that he was pressing his palms together to create the picture...
Ugh... how immature can he get...apparently...lots...
After the third picture I told him to cut it out...because I don't have texting, and it was costing me a ton of money! I also have no money at the moment...and considering that I pay for my own ballet lessens and phone...my mother will be rather angry...
He then has the nerve to ask if I want pictures of different specimens...and I was just like...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Serious creeper!!!!
The other problem is, I'm literally half his height...I'm about five feet tall, and he's about...I don't even know...I come up to his elbow...its scary, but everyone in their family is tall...and they have nine kids...
I've always been kind of scared of him, but know that he seriously hates me, I'm going to be in hiding for the next few months...I see him every Sunday, at church...

Anyway...

What else? Ummmm...
I have this huge bruise on my leg from my skates, and my arms are all cut up, cause my cat got a little excited this morning...and attacked me...

I sent Stephen an invitation on msn...I'm not sure if that worked...
and I found out that I can't send emails..is that because I don't have 'hotmail'????

My mother is signing me up to go to the local public school, for just math and science...
and then I'll walk home and do the rest of my school, here at home...
This should be interesting considering I'm scared out of my wits by people I don't know...
I'm not racist but mexicans scare me to death...
I've always been scared of people, but I've made myself take a walk around the block everyday, and go outside alot more...

If I had my way, I'd be happy to stay in the house all day...but I think maybe its my imagination that scares me the most...
I was almost abducted when I was little, and I remember it so clearly its scary...but luckily my mother walked around the corner just before he could do anything...
I'll tell that story next post...

Ah well...I'm getting over it...and it doesn't help that I'm shorter then everyone my age...but still...

(shudder)

My friends older brother...the one that made me so pissed off, has been sending me hate texts...
He has never talked to me in his life! I've never talked to him...

This morning...I'm sitting here...checking you people's blogs to comment, when he sends me a picture of his butt!
Well, anyway thats what it looked like, I'm praying it was something else made up to look like it...
(shudder)

Ahhh! Why me?

Fun?

Tonight I was invited to go skating at the local skating rink near my house...
My mother wasn't home, haha, and my dad let me go...
He dropped me off, and the family had said they would drive me home, so I went...

I hope this doesn't sound really self centered...but I am a very good roller blader...and I brought my own, so I had tons of fun, speeding around the rink, and watching everybody turn into blobs as I sped past them...haha

My friend had invited me, and another girl, the other girl hated skating...so my friend sat with her most of the time...

I was going around, when her older brother stopped me, he's a year older then me...
He was like, "If you don't stop going so fast, I'm going to push you...and then you'll fall over"
He said it jokingly, and I laughed, and sped by him...he isn't super fast, but he is fast enough to keep up with me if he wanted to...I've known him for years, because I'm friends with his sister, but we have never really talked...

I came up behind him, and said, "You can't push me, I'm a girl..." and so saying I tapped him on the back with my fingertips, as if I was going to push him over...and then sped off...

Okay yes, I admit...I might have been flirting a bit...but still...

So on and off all night, he'd come up behind me and try to push me over, and I'd try to push him...but nether of us succeeded...

I got crushed into a wall a few times, but wasn't hurt thankfully...thanks to all the balance ballet gives me...

The only times I really DID get hurt, was whenever I pushed him, he'd grab my arm, so that if he fell over, I'd have to go with him... He almost broke my finger...ow!
And once when he pushed me my neck snapped, and it cracked really loudly...

Because I'm an only child, people think I'm delicate, but I'm not...
I can take most anything people dish out...and it seems people have no problem dishing it out...haha

I'm not immune to pain, but whenever I get hurt I laugh...its weird...
If I laugh really hard, you might want to consider my bone being broken...

I cry if my feelings are hurt...and laugh if I'm hurt physically...

Strange...

Oops...

Sorry this is soo late....

The play, Alice in Wonderland, that we did was amazing!
We did two shows, and everyone loved it...
It was ballet, so their were no words...but it was amazing...
I didn't get a solo part, but I still had six dances to do...but I loved every minute of it!!!

I was the understudy for the rabbit...which is a HUGE part...but unfortuently she wasnt sick...haha