This rain makes me happy..

Im sick today, dizzy, with a headache...ugh
But i still had to go help teach two classes of ballet, and then do my own class...

But it was raing abit today which made me feel better..
I have to go buy more tea..we had suddenly 'mysteriously' run out...
hehe..oopsy

I havent bled today..thats a good thing..
Its quite an achievement...
Im very proud.

But going on pointe in ballet very nearly killed me.
I was about to die..it hurt really really bad.
But pain isnt so bad...
And neither is blood.
It means your still alive.

I remember going to the doctors office, with strange bumps all over my hands, and the doctors had to cut one off to examine, cause they had no idea what it was.
So they cut one off, and were stitching me back together, when my mother started looking very very uncomfortable.
The doctor, noticing it, gave a nervous laugh, and said,
"Um..blood is good, it means she is still alive...uh..hehe...oh dear."

Thats not something i like to hear doctors say...
Apparently blood was sqirting out of my hand, in a desprete attempt to free itself...
My blood doesnt like me...its constantly escaping.
Today i scratched my head, and it started bleeding...

sigh

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Time..where does it all go?
I really hate clocks..i have a feeling that they sit there and eat time...
They eat it so fast, you hardly ever feel it going by...
During the sumer, or when your bored, the clock is full, and time drags on...
Sigh..

I have bought a pair of red shoes that are four inches tall..
Everyone looks at me, and gives a very approving nod, saying, "You finally grew!"
And then they look at my feet, and shuffle away quicky....embarresed..hahaha
I now look like the average fifteen year old, average height at least...

Personality will never be average, normal, or even human..hahaha
My personality is 100% panda, and if that doesnt make sense, its best not to ask, cause its a long story and i dont have enough time to tell it..
But if your still interested, i will tell you in about fifty years or so, when i have time to actually think, and have my wits about me...

School is driving me crazy...but i sorta love it..
Mum is going to take me to get my permit next week...im very scared..well excited and scared..
Umm..ballet keeps me sane, as sane as i will ever be, and so does Patrick, Kota, and Chaos...
Hahaha..

Its Monday, so there is still a chance that this might be a good week...
Hope you guys have a wonderful week also..
And I'll post when i think of more to say...haha

Loves to all..

Whats the use?

So...i havent really been posting because, whats the use?
No one reads this except Patrick, but i talk to him everyday, so its not anything new..
Stephen, Kota, and Chaos havent been around lately...
And Dan, Im guessing is busy with school, parents, and 'Tiny'...haha

So unless its absolutly necessary..im not sure I'll post very much..

Dying...

Please do not read this post, it is just me complaining at myself..

I admit it now, I'm lonely..
I sit in the house for hours on end, and do school..
I know the rest of you are doing school to, but at least there are other humans around you..
My cat just sleeps all day..
If I ever had any time i would take walks..but i never do..
All the time i do have, i spend on the computer..haha
But I'm not complaining about THAT...

Ballet has started, and every class has at least those two 4 year olds, who huff, roll their eyes, and act like they cant beleive they are wasteing their time doing some stupid class their mum put them in..
I'm all for kicking them out.. :)
But I love all the rest..and yes i do have a bad habit of picking favorites...

Haha, i know this may sounds weird, but im going to complain about complaining..
I hate complaining...though i love it when others complain to me..
I dont know why..I like to hear other peoples problems...
But i know not everyone is like that..and i have to be careful..
I love to complain, and i shouldnt do it..
Thats why i asked you guys not to read this post...haha

Im very........frustrated....
momentarily....
Im just going to go do school..sigh
And die...

haha, I know im insane, but you know how i told you guys i was so busy, well i want more..
I want to get another cat or two, and i want a ferret or a chin chilla..

I might be taking yet another class, besides my ballet, math, and latin classes.
Im hoping to take up theater.
Which would be really fun!
I want to take it to get better, everyone says im a born actress, but thats not why im taking it.
Im taking it for confidence.
I have a fear of performing in front of people, its weird i know.
When i perform ballet, the lights are shining in my eyes and i cant see anyone distincly.
Ah well, if my dad will pay for it, then i can..

My phone..supposedly my mum said i can have her phone when she gets a new upgrade, but i dont like her phone, its breaking.
So if i do get it, im taking it in there and demanding a different phone cause that one works horrifically terrible.

Oh, and just for the sake of telling you guys, i now have this thing where i collect randem stuff and keep it. My collection has in it, a stress ball in the shape of a brain, a dog color, and small glass heart, a candle with some persons soul in it, so if i burn it i kill them...
A red starbucks mitten, a kids slinky, etc...
haha
I have them decked out all over my room plus more, it just adds charactor to my room...

Oh!!
I saw the most amazing thing at the store the other day!!
It was a red ball, medium sized. It was fluffy and squishy.
And very very soft.
If you throw it on the floor it makes a huge sound, like those fake spring noises you hear on TV.
It was amazing and almost undescribable..
My mum wouldnt buy it for me, but if i ever get ten bucks randemly..haha
I know what im buying...

Patrick, I might buy you one, a bright RED one, just so you have have something totally odd in your room... :)
Arent i kind...

Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry

Okay..I know ive been a horrible person, and have not been commenting or posting..
Im just a busy sort of person...i still love you guys...though i know ive been a bad friend...

Umm...
I went to California...that was fun...surprisingly..
I hadnt expected it to be...
I actually got to play mini golf with my dad, haha
I'm really bad at it, but its all good...

Ballet starts up again this month..and school starts tomorrow...
Fun Fun...
I have resolved to be extra good at ballet, and get a solo part...
That would be amazing...

Ill keep you posted...
Sorry once more...